James

As my previous post outlined, I started reading the New Testament epistles chronologically around a month ago. I guess I decided that I would try to blog about each book after I got done studying it, A) to keep me accountable for comprehending as much as I can, and B) to try and put all my thoughts in order and maybe share them with the few people that even read this.

First on the list was the letter of James to the twelve tribes in the Dispersion. Although a few theories are supported about the authorship, it is widely thought that James the Just (the brother of Jesus) is the author of this letter. The reason that I support this stand is because after reading the book and diving in a little deeper into the ESV Study Bible, I found that James makes quite a few direct references to Jesus' teaching on the Sermon on the Mount. This to me says that he had to have a pretty good grasp on Jesus' teaching and had to have been around him more than most.

Little did I know before looking at a few commentaries, the twelve tribes were the tribes of Jewish Christians, most likely a group of house churches outside Palestine. There's a lot of talk in this letter about persecutions and trials, so it seems to go along with the notion that these churches had been going through some hard times. James also uses some pretty stern exhortations and convictions, so it would suggest that a good number of the people in the churches have succumbed to the pressure and hard times and have fallen into a worldly lifestyle.

Just this part got me thinking. It seems the reason that James wrote to this group is because some had fallen into following the world. He wanted to warn them to come back and what would happen if they didn't. He loved them enough to write to them and exhort them (rather harshly). He had their best interests at heart.

Keeping all of this in mind, it's easy to see why almost two whole chapters are devoted to talking just about living out our professed faith. Chapter 1, verses 19 to 27 talk specifically about being a doer, and not just a hearer of the Word. And again James 2:14-26 is all about how faith without works is DEAD. Still so much throughout the five chapters of the book comes back to those two ideas. James wanted these people to understand something that they didn't seem to get, that most people, in fact, don't seem to really get. That, after evaluation, I don't seem to really get. How can we call ourselves followers of Christ, if it all just stops with our words? If it doesn't go past our profession of faith? What he wanted people to understand is that true, genuine saving faith in Christ will lead us to action. Some people have made the argument that James is contradicting the solid fact that we are saved by grace through faith alone, and not by works. But on further meditation, he's backing it up. "In reality there is no dichotomy between faith and works" (ESV Study Bible note). He would agree that works have no part in our justification. It's through faith alone that we are saved. But if it is true saving faith, how can works and necessary actions not follow it? Works are the result of this true faith. This goes hand in hand with being a DOER and not just a hearer of the Word.

Another thing that hit me hard was almost elementary. Most (including me) would consider it a very secondary issue in reading Scripture. I was hit with how great a writer James was. The metaphors and allusions and different literary elements that he employs are masterful. They make the text seem that much more real. It gave way to see James' emotions behind the words and warnings. It illuminated his urgency and love in writing to these Jewish believers. It reminded me that James was so human. This wasn't a letter written by robots to some nonexistent people. This was true life. It was relevant. And I believe that it is just as relevant (more so than I could have imagined) to us today.

I feel like this could almost be a letter to the western Church today. So many are falling away and into worldly lifestyles. People are more worried about reputations and money and business and themselves than Jesus. We are worried about our own plans. We have our own agenda that most often does not include Jesus. Kent Hughes once said that that could really be considered "practical atheism". There is no inclusion of God in our daily lives.

I think it's very appropriate that, in the process of studying this book on my own, I got to hear a sermon on the passage of James 4:13-17. These verses set up the model of someone who is making business plans in which God has no part. Then verse 14 says "yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes." I learned that the Greek for "mist" or "vapor" is atmos, which can be translated into "atom". Our lives are an atom. They are short, but they are by no means meaningless. So what are we to do with ourselves? Jesus created us with a purpose. To go and make disciples. To make His name known among all nations. In order to do this, we have to make the most of the time God's given us, and the way we do that is by seizing God's Word and promises and teachings. He is to be the main character in our lives. We are secondary in God's plan for us. It's all for His glory, but by His grace, He wants to include us.

These are some of the main things that James addresses in this letter. He was aware of the brevity of our lives, and also the importance. He desired to see the church he was writing to rise up above the world and grasp this concept. He encouraged the poor, gave extreme warning to the wealthy, and preached about the importance of being impartial with everyone. He talked numerous times about wisdom and not falling into worldliness. The church he was writing to needed a reality check. So James gladly wrote one for them.

The Western Church today needs a reality check. We need a "head's up", so to speak. We need to listen to the letter of James and soak up all we can and let the Holy Spirit fill us and have His way in us.

So much more could be written on this book. But I'm probably starting to bore you. So I'll leave it at that. Studying this book for the last three and a half weeks has been incredible. I pray that God will continue to open me up to Him and illuminate His Scriptures to me. I'm most definitely looking forward to starting Galatians next. We'll see the crazy things God does through that.

I'm out.

CRT13

Getting Into the Book

So as most of you know (if you’re reading this, you’re most likely a decent friend of mine), the last eight months have been a huge time of growth for me. I did my best to explain all the growth in a nutshell in my last entry. God has opened me and changed me in so many areas. One of the greatest things is that He has started giving me a craving for His Word. He has recently started illuminating the Scriptures and shown me so much more of the passages that I’ve been reading all of my life. It’s been cool to get this new perspective and fresh look.

However, one area that I am still majorly lacking in is my comprehensive understanding of the Old Testament. Sure I know the high points and the overall meaning. But as far as even basic details or the finer points go, I’m honestly at a loss for the most part. And I can attribute this lacking to the fact that I’ve never really spent a whole lot of time reading the Old Testament. I’ve read Job, most of the Psalms, a bit of Proverbs, and Song of Solomon. But as far as I can remember, that’s about it.

Recently God’s made me more and more aware of this, and I feel like it has to change. The Old Testament is there for a reason. It is just as much Scripture and just as applicable and life-changing as the New Testament. So I’m going to start from the beginning and read my way through the entire Old Testament. I’m not sure how long it will take, but I’m determined to read every word of it. I pray that God will reveal to me more of Himself through this and give me so much better an understanding of His Word.

I’ve also been intrigued by Paul and his epistles. I recently started studying First Thessalonians and it has absolutely blown me away. The love and genuine care that Paul displays in his ministry to those people is humbling and compelling. This got me interested more in Paul and the rest of his ministry.

So this has lead me to the decision to start studying the epistles chronologically in supplementation with Acts. I’m excited about getting a deeper and broader perspective of the early Church and apostles and all of their ministries. Again, I’m not sure how long it will take, but I’m so pumped to see how God will transform me through this.

In case anyone was wondering, here is the chronology for the epistles of the NT that I will be studying (information from the ESV Study Bible): James, Galatians, 1 Thessalonians, 2 Thessalonians, 1 Corinthians, 2 Corinthians, Romans, Hebrews, 1 Peter, Ephesians, Phillipians, Colossians, Philemon, 1 Timothy, Titus, 2 Peter, Jude, 2 Timothy, 1-3 John.

Another exciting prospect is that I will be taking an Old Testament Survey course next semester at John Brown, while I am studying the OT on my own. It will be cool to see how God uses these two different plans to connect my thoughts.

If you are reading this, I would like to ask a favor of you. If it ever comes to mind, will you pray that God gives me the grace and will to stick with this plan? It will take a good amount of determination to get through and abstain from taking shortctus, especially when I reach the names and laws and numbers. But God is good, and I know He will give me the strength to complete this task. Also, would you occasionally keep me accountable by asking me how God is using His Word to grow me? Those two simple things will help me immensely in this endeavor. Thank you guys!

May all glory go to Jesus alone.

I’m out.

CRT13

My Life

So, remember how I said I was going to start blogging again? Yeah, that worked for three entries. I would have loved to have gotten it really going. But, I finally realized one small fact: I can only write on rare occasions. If I try to force any writing, it sucks. I just have to let it come. And it usually doesn't come but once or twice a month (if I'm lucky). My last "journal" entry was eight months ago. There's another thing that I've realized, though. I feel like God uses my writing as almost prophetic. Not to say that I can prophesy or anything like that. Just that, as I've looked back on my journal entries over the past three years (there's only around ten), it's almost scary how much God has worked and how much is foreshadowed in my life from my writing even two weeks before. Take this for example. Here is my journal entry from September 30, 2010:

"Has it really been eight months since I last wrote? Have I really been to Africa and back? Have I really started my senior year of high school? Now that I look at it, a bunch has happened since I last wrote. I honestly have no idea where to begin. I almost feel like I'm a completely different person compared to eight months ago. I've changed so much. Some for the better, some for the worse, some for the I-have-no-idea-what-has-happened-to-me. I guess I'll start by saying that my schedule has been loaded. School [including AP Calculus, AP Literature, Shakespeare, Anatomy, Creative Writing, and Newspaper editing], tennis, working, mentoring ten sixth-graders, trying to find time to workout, trying to find time relax, be by myself, and get in the Word. And lately my schedule has been getting the better of me. I haven't been doing my homework, so I've been getting really behind in school. I haven't really had time to workout. And most importantly, I haven't really been making time to read the Word, or even acknowledge God at all. Which is the reason everything else has been out of whack. Sure, I could tell you that. But in all honesty, I have no idea how to even begin to fix it.

I guess after that it really becomes a matter of priorities. Where are they [mine]? Again, I could tell you where they should be. Where they need to be. But I know they're not there. I have no idea where my priorities are. And again, I have no idea how to change that. I want to be in the place where I desire God. I want to be in the place where I have motivation to read and pray. I want to be in the place where God is working in me and through me. But everything just seems so foreign to me."

Little did I know that just seventeen days later (October 17, 2010) would be the catalyst for the course of the rest of my life. I know that sounds extremely drastic, but now that I think about it, it's true. On that Sunday, I met the guy that God has used to impact me in eternal ways. This man has been God's instrument to reveal to me purpose and true Christianity. Since then, Jesus has been radically growing me. I am a completely 100% different person than I was when I wrote that last entry. I have begun to see real fruit in my life, glory going only to the Holy Spirit. Jesus has truly been working in and through me, in a way that only He can receive the credit. I have been experiencing true life these last eight months. God has shown me that life is in absolutely no way meant to be lived for myself. I have been called to love God and love others. Nothing more, nothing less. And God has been faithful to show me what that means, and what it looks like as I seek Him. He has shown me what true ministry and true evangelism is supposed to look like, and given me amazing opportunities to practice them.

I am by no means "grown" or "mature" or "there". I've just been opened up to a legitimately fulfilling, satisfying, and fruitful life in Christ Jesus. May He continue to transform me by the renewal of my mind. May He continue to become greater, and I become so much less. May He continue to break my heart for the lost and give me the grace to move into their lives. And may He continue to open me up to shine His beautiful Light and be a testament to the Life that is only found in Christ. May I be faithful in the little things and love well.

All I am, I want to lay down at Your feet.

I'm out,

CRT13

This is my Akeldema.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot. (Scary, I know.) I've been thinking about life and all that's going on. It has really been one CRAZY semester, and it's even crazier that it's over. I have one semester left of high school. Woahhhh.

Anyways, I've been thinking a lot about how much God has been working on me and growing me. It's led me to think about the His faithfulness, and just the sheer craziness of where He's brought me the past two or three years.

Last summer, around the time that I made this blog, God introduced me to the idea of the Akeldema. Since it's not a very commonly-known idea, I'll explain it a little more. "Akeldema" is Hebrew for "field of blood." It's used in Acts 2, talking about Judas Iscariot killing himself in this field of blood, feeling so guilty about his betrayal of Jesus. When I first read this, it kind of struck me. I thought about it more and more, and over the course of the next few weeks, God kind of formed this idea in my head.

Bear in mind, I'm not taking this for any special revelation, Biblically accurate, etc... but as a metaphor to represent our spiritual condition.

Before we knew Jesus, the Bible says we were DEAD in our transgressions. This being said, I kind of have a vision of someone in their own "field of blood", trying to kill themselves, but just an endless cycle. Nothing but pain, agony, and death.

But then Romans 5 talks about how Jesus died for us while we were still sinners (I realize this is not a new concept for most). But then I get a vision of Jesus taking our place in our Akeldema. Him taking on our sins, but coming out on top. Our death CAN NOT beat Him. Craziness.

I realize this is a new concept for most, so let me share some lyrics that God kind of wrote through me, that should make this "metaphorical vision" a little less hazy for you.

This Is My Akeldema

Horror and pain,

All I see is shame

I’ve got myself to blame.

How long will this last?

Alone and dying,

I just want it to end

But yet I keep going further

I can’t stop.

There’s nothing but red,

This mess I’ve made

My unclean hands before me

My only release.

I slay myself,

Over and over

There could be nothing after this

My worst nightmare.

Is there no escape?

Where does this end?

I cry to nobody

Someone help.

One more blow,

I look below

Is this my refuge?

This blood-stained grass?

As the light begins to fade

I realize I’m leaving

Surely there can be nothing worse

Let it be.

I raise my weapon

One last time

The nail in the coffin

To end this once and for all

But then it’s gone

I feel it leave

My cries have ceased

Can this really be?

A man in white

My Savior comes

To take my place

My own field of blood

Peace and nothing but

This feeling, relief

I’m looking on to my Rescuer

Giving His life

But then He’s here

My death couldn’t beat Him

My life now His

I am not my own

I’m the desperate

You’re the Savior

Be thou my vision

O Ruler of All

It's kind of crazy the stuff that God puts in my head. I'm not sure if this is just pointless rambling, but I thought I'd share it anyways. Hope it gives you a good picture of God's love and sacrifice on our behalf. He is so good! Colossians 1:13 sums it up perfectly by saying this: "He has delivered us from the domain and darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."

It's a crazy concept, to say the least.

I'm out.

CRT13

The Little Things

Ya know those days? Those days where things seem to be going decently, nothing bad happening. Nothing to worry about, just another day. But then something happens. That something just to set you off. No warning, just happens. And it absolutely strikes the biggest nerve.

That was my day. Nothing going on. Just chillin. I was about to go to Savers and chill with a few people with my brother. We were driving down Chenal Parkway, and we were just passing Walmart when our car started pumping and putzing out. Now we have an '87 Honda, so we're used to the pumping. It pumped for about thirty seconds (longer than it usually did), so Chris and I were kind of worrying. It stopped, and everything was good again. But then, as we were turning right onto Bowman, our car completely stopped. We were kind of freaking out at this point. So we got it as far as we could, and then I got out and had to push it around thirty-five feet into the nearest parking spot in Taco Bell.

So our car died. The twenty-three year-old ObamaNader finally bit the dust. No warning. No nothing. Just a dead car in the middle of the Taco Bell parking lot. Nothing else slowed down or died. Just my stupid car. I still have plans. I still have stuff to do. Just no way to do it now.

So needless to say I was pretty pissed. I let out a few choice words (not the best, I realize) and totally let it eat at me for the next half an hour or so. But then, thanks to my brother and some other stuff, I realized how stupid I was being. Here I am, in good health, with a good family, complaining about a dead car. The fact that I even had a car to drive (no matter how old) in the first place is a gift from God. There are so many eighteen year-olds like me around the world that don't have a car to drive. They don't have anything. I went to Africa just this last summer and witnessed poverty in a way that I will never forget. And here I am, freaking complaining because my car died and letting it completely ruin my day. I was acting like a freaking jerk. I was completely letting this circumstantial thing get the better of me and rob me of my joy.

This is a big deal. I have spent the last two weeks telling people how much God has been teaching and growing me. And then something so small in the scope of eternity happens, and I freak. What a freaking HYPOCRITE. God is so much bigger than a dead car. Although I might have been caught off-guard by it, Jesus wasn't. I spend so much time telling God how sovereign He is. And then something like that happens and I basically say, "God, how is this happening? I thought you were in control and now something bad happens to me!" There are so many things wrong with this!!!

I teach a group of sixth-graders at my church, and two weeks ago we were talking about selfishness. Bearing this in mind, there's contradiction numero uno in me. I tell my sixth-graders not to be selfish and how bad it is, but then I get mad because God let something "bad" happen to me. Like the whole freaking world revolves around me.

Contradiction numero dos: I tell people how much God is teaching me and how much I'm learning and growing. But then I let the little things of life like this get to me. I act like the world is ending, but I still have a Savior who loves me. God is still good. He let this happen. Yeah, it might suck right now and inconvenience me a little bit, but why in the freaking world does it matter?! There could be so many bigger and so much worse things happening. My friends' house just burned down last night. They lost everything. Literally. Somebody our family knows is lying in a hospital bed right now, and his parents are wondering if he will live until tomorrow. And I complain because my car died.

I guess I'm just writing all this to say that I've still got SUCH a long way to go. Yes, God is working in me and making me more like Himself. He is, and thank God that He is. But something like this makes me realize that we will never stop learning. And it makes me so much more aware of our sin nature and fleshly desires, and how critical it is that we DIE to those desires every second of every day. Something like this always has a tendency to put me down and only dwell on how screwed up I am. But this case is kind of different. In this case I'm hopeful. And thankful. I hold hope in the fact that God is still working on me. And I feel such gratitude that He still puts up with me. I guess He really is growing me. I might be a broken idiot, but God is most definitely refining me. Hallelujah.

I guess that's enough rambling for now.

I'm out.

CRT13

Thankful.

I guess it's that time again. It's kind of crazy that Thanksgiving has already rolled around once more. It's wild to think that this is my nineteenth Turkey Day. It's so easy to get overwhelmed with the things that come with this day... Turkey, football, turkey, family, sentimentality, turkey, friends, Black Friday shopping, and more turkey. Not to say that any of those are bad, obviously. But I think we sometimes miss the real meaning behind this holiday.

Thanksgiving is called what it's called for a reason. It is a day to give thanks. To remember all that we have been blessed with, and to take a moment and appreciate it and recognize the One who has blessed us. It's so easy to take for granted everything that we have. Thanksgiving should be a reality check that we CAN NOT DO THAT. We have been given too much to take a speck of it for granted.

I know that this mostly sounds like conservative rambling, but I'm getting to a point, I promise. I was kind of hit with a realization tonight. I was just browsing Facebook, creeping on whoever, when I read a status that said "I have so much to be thankful for." I kinda liked it, so I commented on it and agreed and all that stuff, but then went on my way, creeping along. But then that thought came back to me. I know it's cliche, but then it struck me. WE HAVE GOT SO MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR. God has blessed us with so much more than we deserve. I love the verse "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of Lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of change." (James 1:17). It's such a great reminder of WHO has blessed us.

The number one thing that we have been blessed with is Jesus Christ Himself. A Savior who loves us, forgives us, and lavishes grace after grace after grace upon us. So often I overlook the fact that I am who I am, and I live because, and only because of Jesus. This in itself is so much more than any of us deserve. I have been reading Romans lately and while in chapter five, I came across this verse: "but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (verse 8). I was tempted to just keep on reading, but the truth of that statement wouldn't let me. This verse should BLOW ME AWAY. We humans are all disgusting, depraved, broken sinners. WE DESERVE NOTHING. But Jesus, in His mercy, spared us by giving up HIS life to atone for transgressions. Not because of anything we did, but because of His grace.

If nothing else, we have that to be thankful for.

But God hasn't stopped there. He chose to bless me with so much even beyond that. He has given me an incredible family that loves me, a place to sleep and come home to, an able and working mind, an able and working body, and people that actually genuinely care about me. Just to name a few. These are things that He has given me, but He also extends to me something far deeper than any of those I just named. He has offered to use me. To involve me in His plan to draw people to Himself and make known the Kingdom of God. He doesn't, by any stretch of the imagination, need me, but He offers to use me. He has recently given me the amazing opportunity to have a direct influence. I co-mentor a group of sixth grade guys, and it has been so incredible to see God work in so many different ways. And the fact that He chose to use me to accomplish some of this work, I can not put my mind around. Jesus is so good, and the more and more I realize that, the more and more purpose I find every day, and the more and more joy I find. Christ is our satisfaction, identity, and joy. INCREDIBLE.

I guess that's enough rambling. All that to say that, if you haven't already, count your blessings today/tomorrow. Take a moment and give thanks to the Lord for what He has done.

I'm out.

CRT13

On the horizon...

I finally got my computer! This should be the last stupid, pointless post. I'll actually start blogging here very soon! I'm excited to see what comes of this whole thing. I'll probably start by posting a few random journal entries that I wrote awhile ago, then get into present time when I get the hang of this whole thing. I'm actually pretty excited about it.

CRT13